maribells:

LOL at the ONTD ask. Nice try.

Chair is back, bitches! And fans are loving it :)

Chuck is worried.  Blair is pale and clammy.  There is sheen on her face when she comes out of the bathroom and climbs back into bed.  He know that she has been under a lot of stress with trying to expand Waldorf Designs into a more high end fashion house  and that she had castings yesterday for the runway show.  Being around all those skinny models just might be making her image issues resurface.  As he cuddles her against him, he contemplates how to raise the question about whether she is purging again when things have been so good between them.  The last three month since their marriage has been good.  Scheming, sex and success.  Chuck’s three favourite things after his wife, but since he does or achieves them all with her he supposes it’s the same thing.

 Leaning down to press a kiss on her brow he opens his mouth to tell her he loves her when the bedroom door opens and Darota burst in tray in hand.  “Miss Blair, I have perfect thing for you…plain toast, crackers and tea.”  Ignoring Chuck, Darota places the tray around her mistress’s lap.  “I don’t think this is what she needs Darota” Chuck says.  “Blair isn’t feeling well this morning”

Giving him a smug look Darota says “All pregnant woman not feel good in morning…tea and crackers is good”  Chuck and Blair look at each other doubting, then horrified and finally accusatory.

“You Basstard…you did this on purpose!  I’m building an Empire and you just had to be jealous of the time I wasn’t spending with you, so what now you knocked me up to tie me closer to you!”  Blair yells irrationally.  “What the hell Waldorf, of the tow of us I certainly am not the one with the history of getting knocked up.  I’m careful about these things.” Chuck answered “Well that first pregnancy scare I had involved you!”  Chuck sighs “Not really.  We both knew the timing was wrong.  I, well I just wanted it not to be Nate’s”  “See!  You did this!  You wanted me pregnant!”  Blair is back to being accusatory. 

Inside Chuck is seething.  A baby is the last thing he wants.  Blair has been working crazy hours, but he’d been patient.  She had a career to build and so did he.  When they were home, they devoted all their time to each other.  Babies would require her attention.  They are demanding and useless.  Fuming he yells at Blair that he doesn’t want a baby before slamming out of the room.

He and Blair don’t talk to each other the rest of the day.  Darota sends him a text with the time for the doctor’s appointment to confirm the pregnancy set for later that day.  Every time he thinks about a baby he feels this overwhelming jealousy.  He has never had someone who was just his like Blair is.  They had only reunited for good last year and been married 3 months.  He thought that children were off in the far distance.  The very, very far off distance.  He’s sat at his desk all day and gotten nothing done.  His vp’s and secretaries have all taken one look at his face and found an excuse to back out of his office without saying what they came in for.  So he’s surprised when the door to his office opens and Nate walks in.  “Dude.. why is your floor so deserted?  There’s like no one working for you.”  Chuck just shrugs his shoulders and says nothing.  “So uhh Serena called.”  Nate says giving Chuck puppy eyes “A baby huh?  That’s kinda nice.  A little terrifying, but nice.”  “It’s not real yet Nate.  We’re having the test tonight.”  Chuck grumbles.  Nat looks a little confused and looks at his phone for a minute as if confirming something. “But Serena said she and Blair had tried every test they could get Darota to buy and they all came back positive.”

Well if that doesn’t deserve a scotch, he doesn’t know what does, so Chuck gets up and pours them each a full glass.  “This is nothing to be happy about Nathaniel.  I don’t want to have to worry about another person.  I don’t want Blair to either.  I want her focus not her paying attention to some mewling creature.” Chuck hadn’t felt this insecure since he and Blair had gone all in.  “I want to be able to get up in the morning and fly to Paris, because I feel like it.  Or keep Blair out late at Victrola’s.  I certainly never want to be one of those people with the screaming child at a restaurant.”  He says the last with a shudder.

“Chuck,” Nate says in that calming tone of his “this child is going to be yours and Blair’s.  You need to face this.  It’s not going away.  You need figure out how to deal with these fears.”

Seriously thinking about what Nate said Chuck comes to the conclusion that the child is not going to go away.  That being the case, this pregnancy and the raising of the child is going to be done his way. 

Part 1

Chuck’s problem was always the same.   He couldn’t understand what Blair saw in him.  She had told him a few times now that she loved him.  He knew she believed it; it’s just that he knew it wasn’t really true.  She was more honest at the beginning, before she ever loved him.  She was as honest then as the other women he’d had.  They all wanted something from him.  Money, sex, drugs a good time, all those things he understood.  But Blair had changed, now she wanted more.  He wasn’t sure when that happened. 

In the beginning, Blair only seemed to want what he could offer her in bed.  She wanted to keep him her dirty little secret.  As much as he didn’t want to lose his best friend because he was with Blair, he could never shake that feeling that Blair knew he wasn’t good enough for her.  Not in the public eye any way.  That was the story of Chuck’s life though.  A mother who died giving birth to him…really the ultimate rejection; a father that didn’t have a moment in time to spend on him unless it was to tell him what a disappointment he was.  So when Blair had wanted to keep them a secret, part of him understood, embraced it, accepted it as his fate.  He accepted it, until she took Nate back.  While he was upstairs lying in her bed, her lips still bruised by his kisses, she agreed to be seen in public with Nate.  Chuck could still remember the rage and hurt and helplessness he felt in that moment.

Again someone else came before him; again his emotions and feelings were not even considered.  Again he was nothing, not even a footnote in the fairy tale story about the princess and her knight in shining armour.  No one ever writes about the evil prince that the princess sleeps with, they always write about the knight.  So, if that was the role he was meant to play, the secret lover, jilted and cast off when something better came along, he wasn’t having it.  He was Chuck Bass.  This was his story, his dark princess and he had just had to make her see that.  

He managed that alright.  Sure, she saw him, realized he was a dark prince and then walked away from him.  Not without telling him first that he could never be what she needed.  Chuck still remembers how badly that truth hurt.  He had fled the country to try and get away from the reality of it.  From that and something that felt like heartbreak.

But he didn’t stay away.  He never could.  Blair was like his own epicentre.  For years they did this dance; the one where for a while he fooled himself into believing that he could be good for her.  That because he loved all aspects of her and understood her better than anyone that he could make her happy and then reality would hit.  He would recognize how terrible for her he was.  That the only times she was happy with him was when she thought he had changed; that he was a better man.  This is was time of the dance where everything spun around, where he would do something stupid, something real and she would remember that he was not worthy of her, of her love.  Then they would end things. 

At the center of it all though, Chuck knew.  He just knew he wasn’t good enough for her.  He knew that she could never really love him.  No one ever did.  Not once they really got to know him.  And Blair?  Well she knew him really well.  Chuck knew that Blair had it right in the beginning, when she wouldn’t date him.  When she used him like everyone else.  When she knew that he wasn’t fit to be loved by her.

likeamaelstrom:

Just watched all five seasons of GG in the past two weeks. I’m so confused. 

From what I’ve seen online, wayyyy before I ever even contemplated watching GG, there are incessant wars between Chair and Dair fans. Because of that, I watched GG knowing that Dair was going to happen eventually. One of the main things I’ve seen by Dair fans is that there was this supposed “build up” to them all throughout the show. 

Um. 

Where? 

When? 

How? 

What?

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